I did what any normal person would do and attempted to eat it all over the course of a couple of weeks. I was eating fresh bread, french cheese and freeky pickles every day for dinner like I was some sort of medieval dude living a decent life in the middle ages. Or a mouse with a tiny hunk of cheese scaled up into a 30 year old rat-like human.
I figured if I stored it properly it'd be fine; cheese is aged and so am I! But tbh I only skim-red the 'how to store cheese properly' article and didn't realise there are different rules for soft cheese.
I developed a bunch of weird symptoms which according to Google could've been anything, but it was the presence of a light rash which indicated something was up.
I didn't suspect the cheese at all until I went to have my daily slab, when I noticed it smelt more cheesy than usual... The orange-tinged ring looked spotty... and orange in a way that reminded me less of French picnics and more of the orange mould in my shower sealant.
Then I looked at the underside of the cheese and saw a thin white fur.
In my cheese's defence, the stock images from their website seem to be a bit furry:
But given the rash and some other things I won't mention which coincided with my sudden increase of soft cheese, I made the difficult decision to throw out three quarters of my faithful friend, giant wheel of cheese :(
It makes me sad because now I've returned to microwave meals like the modern miserable excuse for a man that I am. The rash is gone and so are my medieval fantasies. I am healthier, but at what cost? I'll never be the big cheese.
Anyway. Here's all the cool new stuff we released lately in case my cheese-rash-sick-day-induced absence meant you missed anything important: |
