Our "creative re-imagining" department hasn't exactly been pulling its weight lately - mostly just coasting on the success of drops like Something and Clone of the Kingdom. To remind them that payroll isn’t charity, we gave them a choice: either find us something worth shamelessly ripping off, or have their job titles "creatively re-imagined" into Active Furnace Inspector. That was September 8, 2025. The very next day, fresh off the Apple Event, they stormed into our office. "We've got it!" they proclaimed, "we'll rip off Cosmic Orange!" At first, we assumed they were pitching yet another lazy, half-baked orange skin. It wasn't until we were cleaning out their desks a few days later that we realized they may have been on to something. Buried among the debris were samples that managed to perfectly emulate the metallic sheen of Apple's newest iPhone colorway. Despite not living to see the product ship, they absolutely nailed it. To any future "creative re-imaginers" reading this - effective immediately, we're instituting a new policy: "No incinerations until your work has been reviewed."
