There are moments late at night, in the shower, or on a long train journey – when a relationship may have ended, but a wandering thought remains: could we do things differently this time? It tends to follow us quietly, telling us that now, we can meet our former lovers with a newfound wisdom, a way of being that we didn’t have before. In this episode of The Workshop podcast, John and Alain reflect on why getting back together can feel so compelling, the questions we must ask before we reconcile, and when it may simply be a way of postponing grief. Hosted by Alain de Botton and John Armstrong, The Workshop podcast is an intimate, thoughtful conversation on life's fundamental questions – access all of our latest episodes on The School of Life App. | | | Unlock our entire content library – including new articles every week – on The School of Life App. | | | | | If Only They Could Just... When someone we care for is just slightly out of reach, we spend years of our lives wondering what might happen if they finally change in one crucial way. This article explores what these hopes really mean, and why endurance may not be the solution. | | | | | A Sure Way to Get Over Your Ex: Imagine You Could Have Them Back When we’re unsure whether to return to an ex, longing can disguise itself as hope. This article suggests a bracing thought experiment – one that helps us see the difference between who they are, and the version we’ve been quietly editing inside. | | | Some decisions are easier when we approach them from the lens of who we long to be, not who we once were. For a limited time, save 50% on selected tools to help us reflect, reset, and move forward with ourselves. | | | | | After a separation, self-judgement tends to linger and hold us back from moving forward. On Divorce offers a visual, human approach to embracing endings without shame; offering guidance on how to grieve what was lost, preserve self-respect, and begin again. | | | | | After heartache, it’s easy to forget the person we were before – or who we could become. A Voice of One’s Own is a photographic novel that follows a woman learning to overcome lingering angst, release long-held inhibitions, and define her own path forward. | | | When we feel torn between holding on and letting go, we tend to freeze and do nothing at all. Stay or Leave helps us recognise patterns, consider what real change would involve, and make more meaningful decisions in our relationships. | | | “When we catch ourselves in a state of contemplation, we must remember that nostalgia is very good at making us forget that the person is actually a bit of a nightmare.” – Alain De Botton, Ep. 8: Should We Get Back Together? | | | |
