I don’t have much time. I’m sending this from a burner account. If they trace it, I’m toast.
I work at Threadheads. Or… I thought I did.
Yesterday, I stayed late. That’s when I saw it.
The warehouse… it’s not run by people. It’s raccoons.
Dozens of them. Wearing tiny vests. Operating a heat press with BBQ tongs and zero supervision. Smoking cigarettes. One of them was even riding a Roomba.
I know how it sounds. But it’s real.
The designs? Made by raccoons.
The customer service replies? Raccoons.
That one time your tote bag smelled like hot chips? Definitely raccoons.
They’ve built something incredible here.
Chaotic.
Beautiful.
Furry.
But they can’t keep it going without you.
If you want this ridiculous operation to survive, you know what to do.