(This is totally under control. Nothing to see here. Move Along.)
(This is totally under control. Nothing to see here. Move Along.)
Dear valued customer,
We regret to inform you that due to a slight... mishap... with our new preservative DETH467, we are issuing an immediate recall of all LandLocked Sushi Co. products.
If you notice any of the following symptoms in your sushi, please contact us immediately:
• Sudden ability to wield chopsticks as weapons • Unexplained ninja skills • A burning desire to overthrow humanity
Remember, your safety is our top priority. And if anyone asks, this recall is totally routine and not at all related to mutant sushi assassins.
Stay calm, and for the love of all that's holy, don't open your fridge. Text us if you smell anything... fishy.
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