A near-universal goal of parents is to try to imbue their children with confidence to act decisively in the world – enough that they will articulate their wishes in work and relationships, and trust in their right to exist.
The standard approach involves trying to remind children of their qualities: they are clever, they are special, beautiful – whatever others say.
Although this sounds generous, the implication is that the grounds for confidence are primarily derived from being clever, talented, beautiful and deserving. By equating confidence with wondrousness, the child is being burdened with a forbidding picture of what is truly required for success.
