Almost all of us have a plan for how our life is supposed to go. At a relatively early age, we sketch out a mental map of the course our lives will take; plotting the various milestones – job, house, marriage, children – we will reach along the way. And in the succeeding years, we do our level best to follow the route as closely as possible. Planning is vital in one sense: our maps give each of our days (which would otherwise unfold as a series of random events, or according to a largely unchanging, tedious routine) a broader structure and meaning. But if our life starts to diverge from the plan we have created – if we suffer setbacks, fall into harmful behaviours, or find ourselves buffeted by events and blown wildly off course – they can also be responsible for profound suffering. Here are three lessons in planning, to help ensure we can survive if things don’t go our way… | Don’t get too attached to Plan ‘A’: We grow up with a fixed vision of our future. But unexpected events – such as accidents, illnesses, or plain bad luck – can derail these plans, leaving us feeling devastated and uncertain. We shouldn’t pin all our hopes on our Plan As; thinking seriously about alternatives is a must. | Work out what you really want: Our plans are as much the creation of other people as they are our own. The expectations of our parents, partners, peers and society-at-large all play a role in determining the choices we make. Make sure to properly interrogate your life plan, and ask yourself is this really what I want…or what someone else expects of me? | Plans B, C, and D may be preferable to A: Our earliest plans are forged during youth, usually when we lack the wisdom, life experience and genuine self-knowledge to make fully informed decisions about our future. There is no shame in changing tack in middle age; very often, the alterations we make will be based on much better information – and therefore, much more likely to come to fruition. It isn’t always that we ‘giving up’ or ‘compromising’ on our dreams – more that we finally have sufficient foresight to spot the more ideal route forward. For more lessons in planning, click the link below. | | | If you’re looking to replan your life this year, we’d suggest purchasing a subscription to The School of Life. With access to our App and online Articles, you’ll find thousands of essays, films and exercises to help you figure out who you really are – and what kind of life you are suited for. | | | Unpack the term ‘presenting’ and explore the different ways in which we present daily in our lives (consciously versus unconsciously). | | | Find the right kind of Therapist Therapy doesn’t just help with acute problems, like crises or breakdowns. The right kind of therapist can help you with your life plans too – to figure out what you really want, reconnect you with your personal sources of meaning, and support you in making a change of direction. | | | Are you tired of small talk? Do parties leave you cold? Why not join us for an entirely different kind of social event – one where we discuss ideas, share different perspectives, and genuinely connect with others. At each of our Book Socials, we explore some of the key insights contained in our latest book (which you don’t have to have read) – whilst encouraging you, the audience, to bring your own ideas to the discussion, guided by questions we’ll provide. It’s the perfect chance to have fascinating conversations with interesting people – and discover some truly life-changing ideas. Next event: The Confidence Workbook Social with Jarrolds, Norwich Thursday 23 Jan, 6-7.30pm, Tickets include entry to event, drink on arrival (£10) or with a copy of the book (£22) | | | Follow us on social media: | | | |
