Much of the reason why we give up, fall into despair and abandon our projects is not because things are hard per se, but because they are harder – far harder – than we had ever expected them to be.
It isn’t necessarily difficulty that sinks us; it’s misconceived notions of what a task should legitimately demand. We operate with recklessly inadequate views of what it might take to have a moderately good relationship, to run a more or less viable business, to have a circle of friends, to be healthy, to build a home or to achieve balance of mind.
The wise keep going not because they are braver, but because they have learnt to be a lot better prepared, by which we mean, a lot sadder. They know that defeats and humiliations are unavoidable events, not anomalous or freakish punishments. They endure on the basis of having managed – with appropriate thoroughness – to extinguish all their more tender and delicate hopes.
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