For most of history, love was something arranged on our behalf — a village-wide effort shaped by rituals, limitations, and fate. Today, we are freer than ever before — yet many of us feel more lost. In this week's episode of The Workshop podcast, The Challenges of Dating, Alain and John explore the emotional complexity of dating in the digital age. They reflect on the perils of choice, perfectionism, and the quiet despair when our search for love is reduced to a few swipes. Above all, they offer something increasingly rare in our search for connection: compassion for how hard it really is. | | | Join us in London for the first-ever live recording of The Workshop podcast
Come and be a part of a rare, live recording of The Workshop podcast – in the room, in real time. Listen to Alain & John as the dialogue unfolds, with the chance to ask questions and shape the discussion as it happens.
This special event is open exclusively to The School of Life Members. Join us for an afternoon of new ideas, candour and companionship – all in excellent company. | | | | | Why Dating Apps Won't Help You Find Love Dating apps promise choice, speed and convenience — but love is never that simple. This article explores how true connection relies not on finding the right person, but on doing the harder work of understanding ourselves. | | | | | The 9 Mistakes We Make When Choosing A Partner Many of us look for love with old unconscious patterns, or ideas that quietly sabotage us. This article shows us the psychological pitfalls of choosing our partners, and how self-awareness can lead us to better choices. | | | | | Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make, and the cost of repeated failure is immense.
How To Find Love explains why we have the ‘types’ we do, and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we love. | | | | | True compatibility can’t be captured by algorithms or superficial traits. The Compatibility Game invites couples to share their emotional needs, values, histories, and fears — and uncover where they can truly grow. | | | We often find ourselves repeating hurtful patterns in relationships — yet we don’t fully understand why. Our guided questionnaire helps us explore the emotional dynamics that shape how we love, from early attachment wounds to habits of self-sabotage. | | | “Many good relationships begin with a feeling of ‘quite nice.’ The tragedy is that modern dating has made us think ‘quite nice’ can't lead somewhere very exciting."
— Alain De Botton, Ep. 20: The Challenges of Dating | | | |
